Bryan Sherwood

Psalm 31:7-8

I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place.

The Psalms and Real Life

I've said it before, I'll probably say it many more times . . . the Psalms reflect the full range of emotions we humans face.  We read the Psalms and we find real life there.  It's not sugarcoated.  As I prayed Psalm 25 this morning, it seemed so familiar.  Looks like me and David share some of the same struggles.  

From Psalm 25 (ESV):

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
bring me out of my distresses.
18 Consider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.

19 Consider how many are my foes,
and with what violent hatred they hate me.
20 Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!
Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness preserve me,
for I wait for you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God,
out of all his troubles.

It Happened Again . . .

In God alone is my soul at rest; my help comes from him. He alone is my rock, my stronghold, my fortress; I stand firm. (from Psalm 61)

I've been praying the Divine Office in some form or fashion since the summer of 2003. It's hard to believe that it's been almost five years but time does fly by. Many times when I come to the office and begin to pray, there are words or phrases that seem to jump out at me and it's almost always the very thing I need to hear that day. I am often reminded that the Spirit works in this ordinary practice of praying the Psalms. I can't explain it, I just know it happens.

Pax.

Final Thoughts

It's Sunday, the last day of my retreat at St. Meinrad's.  It's been a really good experience.  There are a few things that strike me about St. Meinrad's.  First, the number of young monks.  Unfortunately, that's something you just don't see much of at Gethsemani at this point in time.  Yet, there's a good percentage of the monk population here in their 20's, 30's and 40's.  It certainly gives the monastery a certain energy that it wouldn't have if all the monks were elderly.

I also experienced a part of the Rule of Saint Benedict that I'd never actually seen put into practice.  On two different occasions, as the choir monks were leaving after prayer, a monk knelt before the community as they filed past him.  I realized right away that he had probably committed some kind of offense.  Benedict talks about this and I found out from Br. Terrence that this is called "doing culpa" (culpa means "fault.")   Br. Terrence told me that one of the monks had intoned a hymn too low and evidently felt as though he should do culpa because of it.  So, that was interesting.  It also intrigues me that I've never seen that practiced that way at Gethsemani.  I wonder why?

One last comment before I run off to Lauds.  This monastery understands hospitality.  The monks are very open and willing to interact with visitors.  My favorite part is the monk who is assigned to assist guests during the divine office.  He passes out the bookletts for each of the hours of prayer.  If for some reason, you need to pick up another book to sing a Psalm or hymn, he walks around holding a card with the appropriate hymn number or page number written on it.  He answers any questions you may have (like why is that monk kneeling?).  What I like best about their hospitality is the feeling they want you to participate with them.  That kind of Benedictine hospitality is a lesson we can all probably learn.

That's it for now.  I do miss all you people back home and can't wait to see you.  Pax.

Finding Renewal in God's Creation

Renew those who feel empty or anxious with the grace and beauty of your creation.
-- Lord, help your people.

That was part of a litany I prayed recently.  I immediately thought about the truth and relevance of this prayer.  Not surprisingly, it was penned by monks who speak from a wealth of history and experience.  However, this isn’t just their prayer.  It’s our prayer.    It’s my prayer.  I’ve prayed it before . . . not in so many words but often from a place of anxiety and sadness. 

This is a prayer I know to be true.  Somehow, some way, God renews me when I feel the saddest through the splendor of His creation.  One of the reasons I love to spend time at the Abbey of Gethsemani is because of its sheer beauty.  1800 acres of mostly undeveloped woods and fields to explore.  At the end of the day I may be physically tired but I’m always renewed.  That’s the power of God’s creation in my life.

Realistically, I can’t physically spend all of my time in the woods but I am learning to take moments through the day to gaze out the window in front of my cubicle and soon find myself walking along the trail, listening to the stream gurgle and the birds sing.

Peace.

Insomnia and Vigils

I can't sleep. I've been watching the clock since around 2 a.m. I thought to myself "if I'm still awake at 3 a.m., I'm going to get up and pray vigils." I was and so, I did. This time of the morning always reminds me of my monks at Gethsemani who rise every morning to pray vigils at 3:15 a.m. I joined them them although I sang the Psalms sitting at my desk with a few candles burning.

The first antiphon I came to was this: You are the God who works wonders. Many times when I read/pray the Psalms, I just know that certain phrases are for me. I found that true over and over this morning.

I then came to Psalm 76 and almost laughed when I read:

You withheld sleep from my eyes. I was troubled, I could not speak. I thought of the days of long ago and remembered the years long past. At night I mused within my heart. I pondered and my spirit questioned. "Will the Lord reject us forever? Will he show us his favor no more?"

I don't know why I find myself so surprised when I sit in the quiet and pray and the Spirit speaks. All in all, I'm glad I've been awake and had time to listen.

Peace.

Compline at Gethsemani

One of my favorite times of prayer at the Abbey of Gethsemani is compline. One of the most beautiful hours of the day, in my opinion. The church is dark. The monks have chanted Psalm 4 and 91 so many times, they know them by heart. A couple of years ago, I took my voice recorder along to capture one of those prayer times. The quality isn't great but it brings back a lot of good memories.

Download compline_at_gethsemani.mp3

Thanksgiving Psalms

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in the US. Most people will gather with their families and eat a large meal together. It's easy to make this day all about the food but I hope to spend some time reflecting on thanksgiving and my own gratefulness to God. There are several psalms that focus on that very subject. Here are a few snippets (all verses come from the Grail Psalter).

Psalm 99(100) Cry out with joy to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness. Come before him, singing for joy. (vv. 1-2)

Psalm 29(30) I will praise you, Lord, you have rescued me and have not let my enemies rejoice over me. O Lord, I cried to you for help and you, my God, have healed me. O Lord, you have raised my soul from the dead, restored me to life from those who sink into the grave. Sing psalms to the Lord, you who love him, give thanks to his holy name. (v.1-5)

Psalm 110 (111) Alleluia! I will thank the Lord with all my heart in the meeting of the just and their assembly. Great are the works of the Lord; to be pondered by all who love them. Majestic and glorious his work, his justice stands firm forever. (vv. 1-3)

Psalm 33 (34) I will bless the Lord at all times, his praise always on my lips; in the Lord my soul shall make its boast. The humble shall hear and be glad. Glorify the Lord with me. Together let us praise his name. (vv. 1-4)

Good stuff, huh? I'd recommend reading the entire psalm and not just the snippets. Lots of good stuff to think about and pray about. Anyone have other favorite "thanksgiving" psalms?

Peace.